The Three Perceptual Positions and Win/Win

Three Perceptual Positions:

The approach derives from the Neuro Linguistic Programming discipline. By implementing this approach it can help us work through tricky everyday issues, challenges or relationship matters.

Sadly, we are often taught in Western society within Education, Politics and Law that we must win the argument and focus on being right. This maybe the correct approach for solving a mathematics equation. However in reality there maybe many different perspectives and opinions that others hold. Life is often not black and white and there can be many nuances.  Just like at my dinner table with the Vaxers vs Anti Vaxers.

This is a method that can help you to develop better relationships and communications with others by seeking to understand. It will help to change your mindset and look at situations and scenarios from multiple perspectives. We need to shift our mindset from the perspective that listening to somebody’s viewpoint is the agreement of this. By showing respect and listening to this we have more chance of gaining the respect of the other person and helping to shift their paradigm when they finally pause and allow us to share our view.

The three perceptual positions are:

  1. To looking at the issue of debate or opportunity from your own perspective which is easiest of the three as this is the default position
  2. Is to change our perspective and look at the situation or challenge from the eyes or paradigm of the other person or organization – this will be more challenging to do
  3. This takes practice and centers on looking at the situation from a neutral position or imaging yourself as a fly on the wall observing the situation from both or a variety of perspectives which will take solitude, concentration and visualization

By going through these three positions, it will help you to understand the motivations and perspective of others. This will enable us to make more grounded considered decisions and taking more measured actions.

Win/Win Steven Covey’s classic habit:  

The Three Perceptual Positions approach can be intertwined with Steven Covey Win/Win Habit. In that it’s best in life that for the more significant matters of importance is for both parties to aim for solution or a decision in which both parties come away from the situation feeling that they have had their needs considered and met.

Sadly, in life many aim for Win/ Lose in which they win and the other party loses. This is ok in competitive team sports vs another team. However in most other situations this outcome could result with one party leaving the table disgruntled and in the longer term the relationship or outcome may not be concrete or sustainable.

The final scenario which is arguably the most least desired is Lose/Win or a martyrdom agreement. This can cause personal difficulty, suffering and is likely to generate a lot of potential moaning and frustration.   

I hope you find this blog and my video recorded last year helpful. Please feel free to comment or reach out to me if you have any questions.

Three Perceptual Positions and Win/Win

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